Happy Holidays

Last Updated on Monday, 21 December 2009 08:43 Written by Scott Wegna Monday, 21 December 2009 08:43

It’s just not Christmas until I can scour YouTube for an hour trying to remember what they hell those awesome Santa Hunter shorts are called and vowing each year that I will bookmark them this time. (I didn’t.)

Rare Exports & Rare Exports 2

We’re all real busy getting ready for the annual X-mas pilgrimage to Shao Lin. (Does anyone know where “x-mas” comes from?) To our great surprise Dorinda’s work actually approved her taking Thursday and Monday off. We figured after she had the “audacity” to get sick last month they wouldn’t let her have the days.

Am I the only one who think’s its sick that she works for a place that only gives its employees 6 days off a year (including sick days)? I could understand that if they paid her big bucks, but they pay her a shit hourly wage.

We’ve been talking a lot about that lately, but since we’ve reached no real consensus on exactly what we’re going to do, I’m not going to speculate just yet. We’ve got several ideas, and one way or another she’s getting out of that job, and we’re getting out of the hinterlands of New Hampshire. But that’s for 2010.

Back here in 2009 we’re just hoping to survive the week.

We typically drive to NYC in the dark after Dorinda’s been unshackled from the crazy medical equipment she manhandles every day. We are both usually pretty tired, and so to spice things up and keep the conversation lively for the five hour drive I will often say something insightful and thought provoking like; “Christmas is fucking dumb.”

Now if there are two things Dorinda loves it’s Christmas the secular holiday, and Jesus the not-so-secular Son of God.

Obviously this keeps us wide awake and screaming at each other for most of the drive.

I both love and hate discussing Faith with my wife. Like my mother, she’s got buckets of the stuff, while I’ve got about a thimble’s worth. I love it because Dorinda’s interpretation of things is very pragmatic. I hate it because from my point of view her beliefs are contradictory in a lot of ways and should really cancel themselves out. But hey, Faith is mystical stuff, and while I may challenge it, I don’t question it.

I’ve gotten several angry emails over the years telling me how much I hate religion. I love it when people tell me what I think. Let me tell you this; you don’t marry Dorinda Ann Foley if you hate religion. Or really if you are truly hostile to it at all. This is a woman who practiced being a stigmata when she was a kid. Seriously. Who does that!?!

What I am hostile towards are people of faith who get all angry and tell me that my believes are wrong. Which usually inspires some asshatticle blog entry on my part. For which I officially apologizes right now.

Unless you’re one of those jerks.

In which case I hope Jesus, Ala, Yahweh, or Buddha, makes something bad happen to you.

For you chill Children of God though, I hope you have a happy Christmas, that you’re enjoying Hanukkah, you have a good Kwanzaa next week, and that you folks who are into Yule say a little something nice to the Old Gods for me today, on this Winter Solstice. Or if you go with the Romanized Yule please do so on the 25th. =)

Just in case you missed us the first two years, here are our past holiday cards.